is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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