my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
