I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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