I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
