walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
