dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
