I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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