we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
