Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize