Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Are these your boobs on my camera?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
