matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize