Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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