i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize