im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
