Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
