can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
