Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
