we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
