You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
