I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
We smell like vodka and hangover
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