Cold hands, warm shart.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
