Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
