how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
