they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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