On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
