There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize