i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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