new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
