Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
