You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm always down for nudity.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
