omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
