garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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