I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize