i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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