I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
