I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize