Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize