Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
where does the pee come out of this thing
well most of my day revolves around power hour
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
