your parents love me but you hate me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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