please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
