so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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