Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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