My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
