And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
