So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You are a genius and a whore.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
