After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
