so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
