Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
