I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
