I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
