Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
