I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
