your parents love me but you hate me
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
