I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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