you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
