I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
