i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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