i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
