Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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